Eun-seong was Eun-ho’s younger brother, and he had also spent time as a child monk.
They had been friends who rolled around in the same room before falling asleep, then ran outside before even wiping the sleep from their eyes to roam the mountains together.
Even while taking care of Eun-ho—whose weak body sometimes made it hard for him to even move—Eun-seong never once complained. He acted as if it were only natural.
And Eun-ho had been endlessly grateful to him for that.
They had been that close.
“Hey. Get in.”
Eun-seong had never been especially warm, but after Eun-ho died, he became noticeably rougher around the edges. Sometimes it even felt like he kept his distance only from Hae-som.
“Get in already. I’m getting a ticket here.”
“We haven’t seen each other in forever, and you’re killing the mood already.”
Now that she thought about it, it really had been a long time. The last time she saw him was before he enlisted, so about a year and a half ago.
There had been chances to meet while he was on leave, but…
Hae-som had deliberately avoided anything that reminded her of Eun-ho’s death.
She was afraid the nights she already couldn’t sleep through would become even longer.
Still… seeing an old friend again made her happy. Smiling brightly, Hae-som opened the back door and climbed in. Eun-seong shot her a sharp look.
“You’ve got no manners either, huh? You’re the one asking for a place to stay, so stop acting like some chairman. Sit in the front.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
It was just a habit she had picked up at some point. There wasn’t really a reason.
“Can’t we just go like this? You said it’s close.”
“Act like that somewhere else and people will call you rude.”
“You can’t let monks get cursed because of me. Should I move to the front now?”
“Forget it. Just put your seatbelt on.”
Clicking his tongue, Eun-seong looked ahead again. The car moved smoothly through the complicated roads of Seochon and was already passing Seodaemun.
Watching the traffic lights reflect against his profile felt strange somehow. Her friend, who was the same age as her, had grown up enough to drive now.
And before Eun-seong, the one interested in cars had always been Eun-ho.
“What’s driving like? The feeling of it?”
“What kind of feeling would there be? You just do it.”
“Isn’t it scary? The car moves however much you press or turn.”
Eun-seong glanced back at Hae-som, who had her chin resting on the front seat.
Red light washed over his sharply defined face.
“If it moves the way you control it, what’s scary about it?”
“What if something suddenly jumps out?”
“You’re seriously such a coward. How do you even cook with nerves like that? You get burned, cut yourself if you lose focus. Kitchens are full of dangerous things.”
“Cooking’s my job. Driving’s a hobby.”
“Then keep cooking as a hobby too. Don’t make it your career.”
Hae-som frowned deeply at the same old argument she was sick of hearing.
“Why does everyone keep looking down on my dream? Because I’m a woman? Because it’s dangerous? Because the pay sucks compared to the work?”
“All of the above.”
People always favored white-collar jobs, but Hae-som was the type who got restless after sitting at a desk for ten minutes.
After years of studying, she already knew what suited her best, so why was everyone so desperate to stop her?
Hae-som snorted.
“Too late anyway. I already started my internship.”
Green light flashed across her round face as Eun-seong pressed the accelerator and frowned faintly.
“An internship? Where?”
“At a restaurant. Around here.”
“Where around here?”
His voice turned noticeably harsher.
As if her parents hadn’t already failed to stop her—what was he going to do? Hae-som added firmly,
“It’s called Not. A three-star restaurant. It’s really famous.”
Screeeech!
The car suddenly came to a violent stop. Hae-som, who had been leaning against the front seat, fell backward.
“Hey! What kind of driving is that?!”
Curses poured from nearby cars stopped on the road, but Eun-seong didn’t even blink.
Instead, his eyes turned cold.
He looked like a stray cat wandering the streets at night.
“Where did you say you work?”
“Is that really important right now? Drive already! Everyone’s honking!”
Only after she shouted did Eun-seong slam on the accelerator again. The car lurched forward violently as he swore under his breath.
The silence lasted until they arrived at Eun-seong’s place.
It was a villa with tight security, and even at a glance, it looked expensive.
The car and the apartment both felt excessive for someone who had only just returned to college after military service. Since she knew his family situation well, it made her even more confused.
To pay for Eun-ho’s crushing hospital bills, Uncle Gyeong-ho had thrown away his pride and borrowed money everywhere.
Meanwhile, his mother, who stayed home to care for Eun-ho, was often beaten by debt collectors. Strong as he was, Eun-seong had been their only defense, but back then, he had still been young too.
Maybe that was why Hae-som’s father left his corporate job and started a business with Uncle Gyeong-ho. Around that time, Hae-som and the brothers had been entrusted to Hunam-sa together.
The business had done well for a while, but Uncle Gyeong-ho only managed to finish paying off his debts right before the company collapsed.
So there shouldn’t have been enough money left to buy a place like this…
And where were Uncle Gyeong-ho and Aunt Mi-sook now?
After Eun-ho’s death, the two families had drifted apart, so Hae-som was behind on everything.
Looking around the spacious living room that resembled an art gallery, she asked,
“Did you win the lottery?”
“No.”
“Then crypto?”
“You think it’s that easy?”
“You’re not… running around as some gangster now, are you?”
Eun-seong scoffed like she had missed the mark completely.
“Yoo Eun-ho’s life insurance payout.”
So things got easier because the one draining money from the household was gone.
Eun-seong even looked refreshed saying it.
But thinking back on the years they spent together as child monks, that laugh was fake. Completely fake.
Even now, grief was strangling him.
“The only smart thing Yoo Eun-ho ever did in his life was getting good insurance coverage.”
That was why he spoke so cruelly.
Pain stung around Hae-som’s eyes. She shut them tightly instead. A faint ringing filled her ears.
“Eun-ho oppa… is he really dead?”
“What?”
Seong Hae-som had lost her first love.
Yoo Eun-seong had lost the brother he spent his whole life with.
Even knowing whose loss weighed heavier, Hae-som still had to ask about Eun-ho’s end—the thing everyone avoided talking about.
“How did he die? Why did he die?”
“How would I know?”
“If you don’t know, then who does?! Why does everyone keep saying they don’t know? Why?!”
Watching her finally break down in tears, Eun-seong let out a long sigh.
“I’m tired. Go inside and sleep.”
Tired? As if he could be more exhausted than her.
Trying to impress her seniors, dealing with a boss who reminded her of her first love, and getting harassed by that boss’s ex—
The unfairness rose in waves, and tears poured out uncontrollably. Her palm, pressed over her eyes like a blindfold, grew damp.
Eun-seong’s hoarse voice spread softly through the air.
“You can use the bedroom. There’s a bathroom attached.”
If she thought she could sleep easily, she would have washed up and buried herself in bed instead of arguing.
But Hae-som knew.
On nights touched by Eun-ho, sleep would never come.
“It’s fine. You go sleep instead, Yoo Eun-seong.”
“Seong Hae-som.”
“What.”
Eun-seong leaned crookedly against the doorway with his arms crossed. Maybe he found her drunken intrusion irritating.
“Stop being stubborn over weird things and sleep in the bed.”
“I left my sleeping pills behind anyway. I can’t sleep.”
“You still do that?”
The sigh in his voice pressed heavily onto her shoulders. Looking at her pale face, Eun-seong added,
“Maybe you need some ritual to drive ghosts away. If he’s dead, he should move on already. What kind of grudge makes him cling this hard?”
“Hey!”
Her shout echoed through the empty living room.
Turning away with another sigh, Eun-seong muttered,
“Seriously, why did it have to be that place? Fuck.”
Bang!
The sound of the door slamming was harsher than ever.
Hurt by his cold reaction, Hae-som covered her face with both hands and cried.
Then suddenly, Jae-geon’s face flashed through her mind like light.
“Miss Seong Hae-som.”
The way he used to call her.
Hae-som stayed up the entire night and left before Eun-seong woke up, hurrying onto a bus.
Their argument from the night before weighed on her mind.
She regretted barging into the life Eun-seong had tried so hard to steady and stirring everything up again.
At the same time, she found herself missing the days they spent as child monks.
Back then, she never fought with Eun-seong or cried like this. Even getting scolded together by the monk had felt fun.
That distant past, impossible to return to, only blurred Eun-ho’s image further.
It felt like a knot had lodged in the center of her chest, making it hard to breathe.
“Ah… I miss Master.”
She wanted to lean on the monk’s wisdom and finally shake off Eun-ho’s death, her insomnia, and Cha Ji-won’s obsession.
Pressing down on her swollen eyelids, Hae-som stared blankly out the bus window.
The world was green, painted over in fresh summer color.
Seochon had its own charm, but in summer, nothing beat the scenery at Hunam-sa.
Warm summer air poured through the slightly open window. It was nice, but still nothing compared to Hunam-sa.
The more she thought about it, the more reasons she had to visit.
She hadn’t stepped foot there once since Eun-ho died.
Had it already been four years?
By the time Hae-som finished making up her mind, the bus had already entered Seochon.